Alcohol Treatment Centers: Methadone Facts

Question: How do i do my best for girlfriend who is in an residential alcohol treatment centre?

(Posted by: julius on 2009-08-14 06:26:47)

I have been seeing this girl on and off for 8 years now, I love her to bits and miss her everyday. Her alcohol abuse stopped us from really being happy. We lived with each other for a few years, but I could not take playing second fiddle to the booze. We would still talk nearly every day on the phone. Finally she has admitted she has a problem due to failing health and signed herself into rehab. I went to see her for a counseling season the other day and it was very emotional. I don't know what to when she gets out? I just want her to get better!

Posted by: masticina on 2009-08-14, 06:34:08

Clean the house, remove all alcohol and if possible everything that is connected to it. So yes no bottle openers and the likes. Prepare a nice clean and safe house to return to and offer to help out with getting food and ..if you two go shopping guide her past the alcohol section.

Posted by: tj on 2009-08-14, 06:44:04

All you really can do is show her your support in the best way that you see fits this situation. Are you saying you can't stay with her due to this but want her to recover b/ c you care about her as a person? If so, then just tell her that you wish her the best in this and a full recovery. Take her calls but don't offer any false hope to say she can move back in, etc. during this if that is not something you feel you can live with due to this. There is a risk she can and will backslide, or her health worsens due to this. It's just a sad reality in such situation. If her failing health involves her liver then she is on borrowed time likely and you'd need to prepare for the worst in this, saying goodbye one day in a way that she won't be saying it back then. I hate to say that but if one's liver is damaged badly by alcohol it's rotting and that's that. I don't mean to seem casual at all, I sympathize as I've lived with an alcoholic. It's like I watched the person die in front of me from that (not physically in that case as he is still alive to my knowledge) as they chose the booze instead of walking away from it. In another case I know a man that went through rehab and is reformed after MANY years of drinking and some hard liqour on a daily use. It all depends on someone's metabolism. When it gets to the point of their health literally involved you need to do what is best for yourself in confronting such an outlook. It has to do with the health issue most.If this is something serious now in that and not minor, expect the worst. Just let her know that you want the best for her and her recovery for now and take it as it goes, that's all you can really do. Wait and see.

Posted by: sayitasitis on 2009-08-14, 06:48:53

You have opened up a minefield there! Having been alcohol dependent myself 15 years ago and now recovered, (don't believe in AA principal of recovering alcoholic) I think I can speak from experience. I had to leave my husband behind as I now knew he was an enabler and we were co-dependent on my being alcohol depedent. Ask yourself why did she drink? the answer without question is unhappiness. Regardless of the reason for her unhappiness unless she gets to the root of her problems and quits for good, then if I were you I would call it a day. Some people can change, I did, but for every one of me there are at least 3 that don't. Sometimes people give up the drink without getting to the heart of the reasons they began and that is a sure way for someone to relapse and you could get sucked into that. 8 years is long enough to put up with someone's drinking, especially when they are in denial. I think she needs to find herself first, discover who she is, who she wants to be and then decide if you can still work it out. However, by then, if she is still sober, despite herself she will change and she won't be depedent on you any longer, you will need to give up your care-taking role and become someone else relation to her and that could be hard and you would drift apart or split acrimoneously. Sorry it's bad news but that old adage "too much water under the bridge " will prevent you both from starting over with each other. Be there as a friend to support her decision to quit, but live your own life and enjoy yourself for once.