Drug Alcohol: Methadone Facts

Question: Can a relationship between a drug addict and someone who has never had an issue with drugs/alcohol ever work?

(Posted by: jezza on 2010-03-31 19:34:40)

My boyfriend is a drug addict. He was clean when we met and has since relapsed. I found out recently and my initial reaction was to end the relationship. But I only did that because I thought it was the smart thing to do. In reality, I am not ready to give up on him yet. I know I should be trying to protect myself and move on...and my family will freak if I go back to him. But the fact is that I can't get it to sink into my head that he will always be messed up or that our relationship won't work.

Posted by: Arch on 2010-03-31, 19:40:35

There is no way a drug addict can have a meaningful relationship with anyone, whether they are drug addicts or not. All drug addicts care about is their next fix. Do NOT go back back to him, period. As long as he's an addict, any relationship with him is doomed, and will only be hurtful to you.

Posted by: Matt on 2010-03-31, 19:41:43

Dont give up on him. Im sure he loves and needs you. DONT GIVE UP ON HIM. Love him forever and ever and ever, PEACE

Posted by: Patricia on 2010-03-31, 19:43:19

What caused him to relapse? How do you know he will always be messed up? If you leave him and you was all he had to depend on to confide in then he might be messed up or worse. Be the friend that you are to him. There is trust there.

Posted by: Big Bird on 2010-03-31, 19:44:11

I don't think it will work, because he will always love and need the drug more than he loves and needs you. I know it sounds hard, but I would leave. I would tell him I loved him but that I wasn't prepared to deal with his habit. I would say that if he got clean AND STAYED CLEAN then I would be prepared to talk about the situation. You are not giving up on him; it could be exactly the motivation he needs to kick the habit once and for all. If he doesn't, then you have done the right thing by leaving.

Posted by: mamabear on 2010-03-31, 20:00:51

If you can't let that sink into your head, then you may as well believe that you're going to be 50 years old one day alone and old with no real man that ever loved you. Don't be the idiot that sticks around w/ the loser while everybody else lives a wonderful and happy life. You need to realize that you are not your boyfriends first love. His first love is the drugs and he will drop you so quickly just for a taste of his drugs. So if you plan to have a future with him, kids, house etc... be ready to be a single mom. Sure it's possible that he can be cured, but until then, you should not be sticking around and seeing a future with him. You will never be good enough, he wants the drugs over you, he wants it so much he won't even care if you're being raped in the next room. Just think about what's best for you, you're lowering yourself if you stay with him and you're limiting your own future.